Peace in the Face of Adversity: Battling Stage 3 Breast Cancer
Debbie's recount in this interview radiates a profound sense of peace amid the tumultuous battles she faced. Her resilience in the face of such adversity is not only inspiring but also a good reminder that even in the most trying times, our beliefs can be a wellspring of strength and hope.
BY: AI LEEN HAN
31 Oct 2023
On a tranquil, slightly overcast morning, I find myself at a café nestled within the Botanic Gardens, where I'm about to meet with Debbie Ng. Debbie is all smiles as she enters the café, expressing her delight at discovering this charming spot and how she would love to return with her family. Sipping away on perfectly brewed iced lattes, we delve into a captivating conversation about her journey in battling Stage 3 Breast Cancer.
"Cancer found me, but Christ found me first," Debbie declares, her words filled with unwavering conviction.
Debbie, a loving mother of three, was a consistent go-getter and excelled in her corporate career as a marketer at several MNCs. Today, she has transitioned into full-time pastoral service in church alongside her husband Norman Ng, passionately overseeing the children's ministry, and is a driving force behind the "Heartbeat Project" - a movement that champions women and children in vulnerable situations. Her unwavering commitment to making a meaningful impact is evident in every facet of her journey.
However, Debbie's journey took a fateful turn in March this year when her doctor delivered the diagnosis of Stage 3 breast cancer, accompanied by the disconcerting news of a substantial 7cm tumour. To put this into perspective, the average size of a tumour typically measures 1 cm when detected during regular breast self-exams. It was an unexpected revelation, as Debbie had initially dismissed the symptoms. She had felt a lump for several months before finally seeking medical attention, prompted by the loving insistence of her husband. His gesture is something Debbie is very grateful for and she is now an advocate of early detection.
"When I received the news at the clinic, I was in shock for a few seconds before I kicked into problem solving mode. No tears. Just focused on what's next and I wasn't going to let it take me down. The drive back home was way different from the earlier drive there as Norm and I confronted this unexpected revelation, preparing to share it with our loved ones,” Debbie confides, her voice tinged with a sense of solemnness.
"Cancer found me, but Christ found me first"
When the couple arrived home, they were greeted by a surprising sight: a close friend waiting at their doorstep. Even more astonishing was the reason for his visit — he had a book he received from another friend just two days earlier and felt a compelling force leading him to give it to Debbie, before knowing about the diagnosis. The book, authored by a breast cancer survivor and titled "So Much Life Left to Live," had a message on its first page, personalised for Debbie. It was at this moment that she allowed herself to cry for the first time since hearing the news at the clinic. Tears welled in her eyes as she realised, "I wasn't going to fight this cancer alone. God was already steps ahead of me, even before I knew it. In that moment, a profound reassurance settled deep within me, assuring me that I would be alright - I was at peace.”
"But it wasn't until the following morning, upon waking up, that the full weight of reality hit me – the cancer was very much a part of my life," Debbie recounts. “I was genuinely scared to undergo chemotherapy, and on top of that, I had another fear – I didn't want to terrify my children. The thought of them potentially witnessing me being terribly ill, seeing me lose my hair and not being able to spend time with them filled me with worry.”
In that moment, she recognised the profound impact cancer would have on her family, including her children. Now comes one of the most arduous challenges the couple would have to face - to break the news to their three children. “We wrestled with this concern and sought God, praying that we’d be able to have a conversation with them so that we can explain the extent of the cancer, the potential effects of treatment in simple terms without scaring them.” Debbie explains.
"I wasn't going to fight this cancer alone. God was already steps ahead of me, even before I knew it"
With a heavy heart, the couple finally attempted to break the news to their three children. Debbie recalls, “Our eldest, Joshua (10), already had some understanding of cancer and carried a fear associated with it because one of his grandfathers had passed from cancer. Benjamin (7), the middle child, was filled with practical concerns, asking questions like, "So we won't be able to go out for dinners? Who's going to bring Kate to the toilet?" And Kate (5), our youngest, tried to make sense of what was happening and eventually burst into tears as she understood that Mama was not well.”
Two weeks later, Debbie took her kids on their usual trip to the library. She scanned the covers and casually picked up some books as she always did. On that night, Kate picked out "Super Daisy" from their library stash, its cover depicting a girl with long, pink hair in a superhero outfit.
As Debbie read the story aloud, she uncovered a heartwarming twist. Daisy, the main character, was not your typical superhero; she was a girl who had faced cancer and lost her hair, which had made her feel sad. Daisy's journey took a turn when she discovered a pink wig in her treasure chest. This wig became her source of confidence, empowering her to help people and animals, spreading joy and positivity.
"Even if I had to undergo chemotherapy and lose my hair, I would remain their superhero"
“I teared up as I read the pages because I knew that God was using the book to help me continue a conversation with my children - about the potential visible effects of the cancer treatment, including hair loss. It was something that had been weighing on my mind, but I didn't know how to address it,” Debbie shares, highlighting the book’s significance.
During the reading, her children, curious and compassionate, began asking questions like, "Oh mommy, will you lose your hair? Will you need to wear a hat? Is this why Grandpa doesn’t have hair?", Debbie fondly recalls with a chuckle. “It was a precious moment for me to reassure my children, explaining that even if I had to undergo chemotherapy and lose my hair, I would remain their superhero, just like Daisy. Above all, God will be with us, and we’ll fight cancer together as a family.”
Thankfully, subsequent tests revealed that Debbie's cancer would not adequately benefit from chemotherapy treatment. Instead, she was prescribed regular medication with milder side effects. It was an answered prayer of family and friends. She swiftly underwent surgery in April, completed her final radiotherapy session in July, and received the triumphant news—she was officially cancer-free.
As we cross the one-hour milestone in our conversation, I ask Debbie if she has ever wrestled with sleepless nights during this journey, but she assures me she hasn't. Debbie attributes this to a peace that her Christian faith provides and the strong pillar of support her husband, parents and family have been to her.
"He assured me how strong and beautiful I will always be to him, no matter what lies ahead of us"
"Norm was there for every doctor visit and celebrated every milestone with me. He sat with me, cried with me and prayed for me. He assured me how strong and beautiful I will always be to him, no matter what lies ahead of us. Our love for each other grew so much deeper in the midst of the adversity. I cannot imagine this journey without him and I am extremely grateful."
Hearing this, I’m deeply moved, as I know how precious this is. Even I, as a young working adult, have experienced those sleepless nights filled with worry and anxiety. Yet, here Debbie is, facing a formidable adversary with unwavering peace and faith.
In life, we all experience both troughs and peaks. When things are going well, we often attribute our success to our hard work or good fortune, believing that we earned it. However, it's intriguing how we tend to question more during the troughs - when life takes an unexpected turn and we find ourselves struggling. We ask, "Why me? Why now? Why did this happen?" None of us truly relish being in those difficult moments, and I'm curious to find out if Debbie ever contemplated why she had to face this particular ordeal. So I ask Debbie about her thoughts on this matter.
"It’s not an easy journey, but instead of questioning why, I've chosen not to let the unknown shackle me."
Debbie's response is truly a testament to her unshakable faith. She shares, "It’s not an easy journey, but instead of questioning why, I've chosen not to let the unknown shackle me. I believe there's a greater purpose behind everything that has transpired. I have grown significantly through this journey, my marriage is sweeter than ever, and my family has grown even closer as a result. We have fought and conquered this battle together. I believe my story can be a blessing to someone out there too. This journey is not wasted.”
Though I feel I’ve only scratched the surface of Debbie's journey in this interview, it radiates a profound sense of peace amid the tumultuous battles she faced, a serenity rooted by her unwavering faith in God. Her resilience in the face of such adversity is not only inspiring but also a good reminder that even in the most trying times, our beliefs can be a wellspring of strength and hope.
Bringing us back to the moment, I ask Debbie one last question - so, what has changed? “I’ve resumed my roles, leading the children's ministry and Heartbeat Project, but now, each day holds even more significance," she reflects, "and what truly enriches my journey is the unwavering support and love from those who walk alongside me, be it family, community, or friends. They embraced me fully with their care, and God is the one who has held my hand, granting me peace in the face of my greatest anxieties in life. I wouldn't trade this journey for anything else," Debbie concludes.
Outfit: Debbie wears our Hana Pink Ribbon Top which symbolises our unwavering commitment to the cause of breast cancer awareness. It is more than just making a fashion statement - it’s a powerful statement of support for those affected by breast cancer.
But that's not all. At Yuan Artisan, we're dedicated to making a tangible difference. That's why we pledge to donate 50% of HANA’s profits to the Breast Cancer Foundation of Singapore. When you wear Hana, you're not only adorning yourself in style, but you're also contributing directly to vital support and awareness initiatives that change lives. Shop for a meaningful cause here.
Editor's Note:
In the spirit of Breast Cancer Awareness month, it is a profound honour to bring you Debbie's remarkable story. Her unwavering faith in the impact of her voice and journey on uplifting others serves as the driving inspiration for this recount.
In crafting this narrative, it's important to acknowledge that a significant part of Debbie's outlook is deeply rooted in her Christian faith. While her faith has played a crucial role in shaping her perspective, we understand that readers may hold various beliefs and viewpoints. This cover story aims to share her unique journey, filled with hope, resilience, and unwavering positivity, allowing readers the freedom to interpret and resonate with her story in their own way.
Debbie's story serves as a beacon of hope for many, and if you have a story to share or would like to send her a message, please feel free to reach out. Your story may be the inspiration someone needs to find strength in their own journey.
